I filmed this video a few days ago. I've not really been feeling well since a few names from my past popped up in my comments feed yesterday (and more today), ones I was never really fond of to begin with, and one in particular that horribly mistreated a friend of mine. Regardless, it brought back memories. On top of that, which by the way, was the much larger issue than any nonsense they were spouting, they ALSO accused me of lying about the physical, sexual, AND emotional abuse that I endured for so long. I was called pathetic and one even told me that everyone from my home town that knows my ex is laughing at me.
The childish silliness of the comments isn't it. That's not what got me. No, I don't like to be accused of being a liar but then again, friends of people that abuse women are not where I get my news from. People that never really took the time to see me for who I am when I did know them are not people whose opinions I take to heart. What got me were simply seeing their names. Well, some of them, anyway. "Very Terry" didn't feel like showing us who he was but the rest did.
Those names represent a time in my life. One I have worked so hard to forget and undergone hours of therapy to move past. It is one that my husband unfortunately is left cleaning up every day. All of that came flooding back in. There are times that I want to believe that I will completely heal from those years. Sometimes I even believe it. Then, something like this happens. I'm beginning to think that "managing the symptoms" is the best I can hope for.
Anyway, whichever end result time proves to be correct, I do know that I'm done letting a few people dictate what goes on my channel and when and I certainly won't let them stop me from accomplishing what I started out to do, here. Maybe moving forward is going to be horribly uncomfortable, but none the less, I'm moving forward. So, for those of you that have told me how much you love my videos, want to see more, and support what I'm trying to do, this one is for you.
And on that note, I will leave you with something that my husband says to me regularly, something a man he respects deeply once said:
Enjoy the video!